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Copywriting Makeover: Subtle Changes Make A Noticeable Difference Part 1 of 2

Changing a few words in your copy can lead to double-digit increases in conversions. If that sounds like a bunch of hype from an online infomercial, stick around and I’ll show you how it’s done.

That’s really all that happened with Kneelsit.com, an Australian ergonomic computer chair manufacturer. They had what would be considered a successful site with a continual stream of orders. All the basic information was already included on the home page, but the owner felt as though something was not quite “there” yet. He wanted a fresh approach to the site’s copy, so that’s what he received. And the results were simply amazing.

The Problems

While Kneelsit had great rankings for their key terms (normally #1 to #4 in popular search engines) keeping those rankings high required some attention to the SEO piece of the puzzle. Conversions, however, were not at their maximum. The business was not suffering, but it did have room for improvement. So, after receiving a sample chair to use during the process, I set (or should I say “sat”) out to work.

Once I assembled the chair and rolled it up to my desk, I kept a notepad nearby so I could jot down benefits as I noticed them. In just a few days’ time, I had a long list of features and benefits to refer to.

As I read over the original home page copy (which can be seen here: http://www.copywritingcourse.com/kneelsit-home-original.html), I noticed something else. Many of the benefits I had on my paper were referenced (at least briefly) in the original copy. Some were phrased differently than I would later phrase them, but most were there.

However, in this highly competitive industry, I wanted to be sure to keep the uniqueness of the chair on the forefront. Visitors needed to quickly see that the Kneelsit was superior to other computer chairs available. The changing of some verbiage and providing more details in some areas would help keep visitors reading and help them easily distinguish this chair from others on their comparison list.

Once my list of benefits was completed, I began relating these options to other kneeling chairs and to users of ergonomic computer chairs. I wanted to see which benefits on my list were unique in the marketplace. I also wanted to know about the users of these chairs. After all, the buyer is the center of the process and should also be the focus of the copy.

My research revealed some of the reasons users would need an ergonomic chair and also the biggest complaints about some of the current ergonomic designs. In addition, I discovered which benefits were common to other ergonomic chairs and which were distinctive.

The Solutions

Armed with the research results, I started crafting the copy to speak to that one person who was forced to sit at a computer all day, in pain, and who desperately needed help. This person had tried several other computer chairs before with little to no results and was getting skeptical about finding a solution.

I looked back over my list of benefits in search of the ones that would not be found in the competition’s copy. I focused on one exclusive, patented feature (the axle design) and the fact that the chair was customizable for every body type.

I laid out a plan for the new copy including keyword selection, keyword placement, benefits and key points to be mentioned.

Similar in many ways to the original copy, the new version had some subtle, but powerful, changes. The goal of the new copy was to show the true distinction of these chairs by highlighting the most impressive benefits.

I would also focus on incorporating keyphrases in headlines and sub-heads (where it made sense to do so) and throughout the copy. I had to pay careful attention to making the copy sound natural, as I never want the SEO factors to overshadow the message of the page.

In Part 2 of this series (seen here: http://www.marketingwords.com/articles/articles_subtlechanges2.html), we’ll take a look at what went into the rewrite as well as what type of results were achieved with the new copy.